Stand By Me (1986) and the Power of Friendship

When I was 13, I moved cities and then naturally, my childhood best friend and I grew apart. But Stand By Me was always one of our favourite movies – partially because we had a shared appreciation for the macabre, often going on our own morbid adventures around our small hometown. More than that, though, we related to the inherent sadness of the film, perhaps subconsciously understanding that our friendship might not always be as it was in those perfect moments together.

Through our high school years and beyond we kept in touch here and there over the internet, often signing off with the sentiment of the film’s final line, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” And while now, we mostly communicate through the occasional Instagram comment, I still think of her, and that quote, often.

I’ve spent a lot of time considering the importance and meaning of friendship, and how it can shift over the years, especially if you let it. A long time ago, my dad said to me, “I know your friends seem like everything right now, but when you get older, you start to focus more on your family. You’ll see.” I remember thinking, even then, how unfortunate that sounded. I vowed to never let that happen to me. And I’m so glad it hasn’t.

That is, however, the thesis of Stand By Me. It’s also precisely what happens to its protagonist, Gordie, who we briefly meet as an adult (Richard Dreyfuss) at the beginning of the film as he learns of the death of his friend before quickly launching into a flashback. In these first moments, the lovely instrumental overture of the titular song and Dreyfuss’s warm narration set the bittersweet tone of this classic coming-of-age story about friendship.

Set primarily in 1959, Stand By Me follows 12-year-old best friends Gordie (Wil Wheaton), Chris (River Phoenix), Teddy (Corey Feldman), and Vern (Jerry O’Connell) during the last summer before starting middle school as they embark on an overnight hiking trip to find the dead body of a missing kid. Directed by Rob Reiner and based on Stephen King’s novella The Body, Stand By Me carries more than enough boyhood nostalgia to go around.

I’m the first person to complain when a movie has no women in speaking roles, which Stand By Me virtually doesn’t. But I’m okay with it here. While women are underrepresented in movies, female friendship certainly isn’t. There’s arguably a whole genre dedicated to it: Beaches, Waiting to Exhale, Boys on the Side, Steel Magnolias, The First Wives Club, Set it Off, The Joy Luck Club, Now and Then. The list goes on. Still not enough in my opinion, but that’s beside the point.

Oppositely, white men are overrepresented in movies, but there just aren’t a lot of movies about male friendship. Sure, there are movies like The Goonies, but that is something much more adventure-based, like a lot of films about men. Stand By Me is character-driven and tender – there’s hugging, there’s sharing, there’s talking about feelings, there’s crying. And absolutely no shame about any of it, which feels deeply radical and cathartic. Simply put, Stand By Me is a balm for toxic masculinity.

All four boys have their own struggles – Gordie’s brother was killed in a car accident a few months prior, Chris and Teddy both have precarious home lives, Vern lost his pennies and his comb. We get to know them intimately, just as they all know each other intimately. We also see them taking solace in each other. Their friendship is an escape from their otherwise difficult childhoods. It’s a safe place, secure with acceptance and empathy, to land. Every time I watch Stand By Me, I am struck by the openness in which the boys comfort and care for one another, often walking with their arms draped over each other, happily singing the hit songs of the day (it’s worth noting that the the soundtrack is very fun and I had it on cassette for years).

When Teddy, obsessed with train (and death) dodging, waits too long on the tracks to jump down, Chris pushes him out of the way of the incoming locomotive. Afterwards, Teddy is angry about the unsolicited help, but Chris doesn’t move on until they “skin it” (their version of a handshake). We also find out that this isn’t the first time Chris has saved Teddy. Gordie and Chris have their moments, too. Over a couple of vulnerable heart-to-hearts, Chris reassures Gordie that his father doesn’t hate him and Gordie reassures Chris that he can in fact break the cycle of alcoholism and crime in his family.

By the end of the movie, we still don’t know much about adult Gordie, other than he’s a writer, has a son of his own now, and regrets that he lost track of those pals. But that’s kind of all we need to know. Stand By Me will forever remain a reminder of how essential friends are. It’s true that childhood friendships can often be singularly special, but adult friendships are wonderful, too. You might not have the time for weekend-long hikes in search of a dead body anymore, but there’s always time to stay in touch with your buds.

Find the next play times for Stand By Me (1986) on Hollywood Suite.